ARE YOU TRYING TO LIVE UP TO OTHERS EXPECTATIONS?

What do you want out of life? Are you happy to be where you are currently in your life? Are you living the life you desire or are you trying to be the person others expect you to be? Many people are busy living the life other expect them to live, while neglecting their own needs sometimes out of duty to those close to you. Trying to help your love ones by contributing to their development is one thing, but sacrificing your dreams because you have been made to believe that it is the only way to help them is another. No one expect you to live a soulless and miserable life so you can be of use to those that rely on your help whether financial or otherwise.

The only thing anyone would really expect from you is to be able to help those who rely on you as much as possible. You don’t have to live up to the expectation of others, especially when assume that you have to be ready to make yourself miserable to make them happy. You are a master of your life and cannot really help anyone by only living up to their expectations to the detriment of yours. When you engage in the process of shutting down your deep seated desires to only satisfy others, you become a danger to others and to yourself because you will quickly become resentful and bitter towards those you are trying to help. How can you truly help anyone if you are harbouring such negative feelings in your mind and heart?

Some people believe that the only way to be of help or please others is to sacrifice your needs, you will even find people trying to defend that thinking as they are a typical example in their life. When I reach secondary, my parents wanted me to be a doctor and start studying science more actively. I told them at the time that I was not interested in becoming a doctor, because I did not like science and maths enough to make a career out of them. My parents did not want to hear my objections and chose to apply pressure on me by pulling the emotional string and my duty as a son. Most people in my shoes would have gone with the parents request and follow the direction and their expectations. I politely but firmly informed them that I was prepared to abandon my studies if they refused to listen to my views.

I am glad I did not live up to their expectation otherwise I would not be here today writing to you with all the pleasure I experience every time I sit down to write about human behaviour. Even though they were disappointed that I did not follow their wish, they soon understood that I was happier in my chosen area of expertise. Refusing to blindly live up to others expectations is not declining to help, you will provide better help while feeling happy by doing things your way. One of the more rewarding thing to do is to contribute to the development of others, whenever you are able to help anyone fulfil their potential be glad to do so but only if you are happy with the way you are going to achieve it. You will be of no use to anyone if you believe that you have to sacrifice your own aspiration in order to be useful to people. Very quickly you will realise that you are not really engaged and your heart is not in what you are doing, you will be frustrated and tired all the time.

If you want to truly help others and contribute to their welfare, make the decision to never give up on your own dream in order to achieve that. Everything you do in life will only be worthwhile if it is in alignment with your beliefs. Learn to say no when you don’t feel in your heart that what you are about to accept is not aligned to your beliefs, you were created to be of service to the world but not to the detriment of your dream. You are only contributing and adding value to the life of others when you are happy to give, when you are passionate about providing service to people. Do not be deceived to think that your own life is less important than that of others, because you cannot lift them up if you are at the bottom of the pit. You should always strive to be among the best so you can be of service to others, because you can also be happy while helping people, you will be happier.   

 

CHRISTIAN